i m lucky to be loved

life is such a drag now...everyday is the same ting...wake up, study, slp. how much more boring can it get? i hope this wil end soon and as i m writing now, i m hvin a writing mental block. i tink its cause i hvent pay as much attention to gp as i hve to maths and chem thats why i cant seem to tink of words to fit into the sentence that i m writing...and thats why i m tryin very hard(but failin terribly) to blog faithfully everyday so that i wont lose touch wif gp. been surfin alot of the net lately after muggin and i found many cool websites such as http://www.time.com/time/specials/2007/0,28757,1809858,00.html. this is time website and they actually selected the top 50 websites of 08 and there are many cool websites in their selection. i cant tink of any rite now but u shld check it out when u r free. plus they hve the top 10 songs of 07 ...i didnt realise that the net contain so much stuff until i started surfing seriously. its much cooler than i thought. hope to uncover some more gems over the nxt few remaining days.

i tink i shld reflect on my jc life so that i noe where i can improve and where i can pat myself on the back and say well done! honestly i feel that i have more tings to regret than more tings to be happy about. let start with the bad tings before we move to the better tings. there are a few tings that i regret doin if i tink carefully and one of them is joining soccer. dun be mistaken but i m lucky to have met some great soccer pple such as sahmadi, daniel, zad, arif and co but the sad truth is soccer has wasted my 2 yrs of jc life. lookin back, there is noting worth remembering about our soccer except the first day of my training. that day instead of the usual training, the coach first let us watched this inspiring movie called 'remember the titans' and it was about how this great coach united this racially divided team and turned them into match winners. the movie was so nice that i wen to download e movie immediately after i reached home from training and i honestly thought it was the start of great tings to come...alas i was bitterly disappointed when it did not materialize. actually it is very simple to succeed in jc soccer...u jus nid to train ur fitness and skills very hard and u mus be very determined. these are very simple qualities yet it was sorely lacking in our team and worse our coach and our captain wasnt strong enough to enforce such a training so it was only normal that our fitness and skills were substandard. as a result during our first season we were trashed game after game by other jcs and i can stil rmber lookin at our team being outclassed and yet being totally helpless. it was a disguisting, excruciating, humiliating feeling-one that i dun tink i wil ever forget. i rmber when the season ended, i vowed to improve my fitness and my skills and to overhaul the soccer system even if i was jus a member. i seriously thought i could do at least someting so that we wont end up like the seniors-bottom of our grp. and we did our seniors proud by doing even better than them....we ended up bottom of our grp, without a win, without a goal, and without any dignity. can you imagine goin into every match knowing u will surely lose because you never keep to ur promise of training harder and stil havin to watch the entire match? it was painful... i tink i hve ranted long enough so moral of story is to consider a cca carefully before joinin it cause i dun wan history to repeat again..

so sch ended 4 days ago and what a way to end...drinkin beer, talkin and playin cards at william chua hse. but i wish it did not end this way cause it only makes me wan to hve more fun! the nxt morning after the outing, i felt like having another round of beer and another round of bridge...honestly the class outing was quite fun..maybe even more fun than the sentosa outing where we played beach volleyball. so i m lookin forward to the nxt class outing but maybe this time we can hve it at my place because there is swimming pool, tennis court, bbq pit and even a gym for those who wan to flex their muscles infront of the girls...like me haha. the reason why i did not tink it was a gd idea to spend the last day at chua hse is because i did not feel like it was a proper closure to our jc life. i guess i was influenced by my sis hci graduation ceremony. i like her ceremony because it was an intimate affair with only the jc2 students and their parents and not like ours where they cramped all of us together includin the jc 1 whom i believe mus hve dreaded the ceremony tremendously. honestly i did not like anyting abt our ceremony except the videos because there was nothing likeable abt it! it was cramped, the ceremony did not feel like a graduation ceremony( who would put a indian dance in a graduation ceremony?!!) and to sum it up, it jus did not feel like a graduation ceremony. in hci ceremony, bfore the bear presentation, evry class will play their class video which is abt their jc life on the audi screen. then each class wil walk onto the stage and each person will receive a teddy bear from his form teacher. it was a simple ceremony but it felt like a proper ending to our jc life...jus like how every good drama needs a happy ending to leave the audience satisfied. but its no use grumbling abt such stuff now cause its goin to be all over soon. though our graduation ceremony may be considered a disaster but i hope our prom wil be much better...and maybe i might pull off someting audacious...someting that i nvr even dare to tink bfore until now..


to all my diehard fans, here is what u all hve been waiting for...the holy grail! this pic is the present that i gave to her as her bdae present. it was no easy task...i had to eat 3 ferror roche and learn how to make a ferror roche rose from scratch! everyting was hand made and designed by me! not bad for someone who is makin his first present for her rite? and all the best for ur alvls if u r takin it this yr

cant give in yet. been muggin hard for the last couple days and its been really exhausting but i cant lose steam..not when i can almost see the light at the end of the tunnel. anyway her bdae is coming soon and i ve also been busy preparing her present. cant tink of anyting to buy so i jus bought what i tink shld be ok( eh i wont disclose the present in case she is secretly checkin my blog...). at first i thought of buyin teddy bear or some toy since i tink all girls like soft toys and i always see guys buyin them for their girlfriens but i tink they are too common( and i m also broke..). nxt was to buy the wrapper and some ferrero roche to complement the present. it was difficult to decide how to design her present since i hve never make a present bfore but after much thought, i tink i may hve gotten it. normally guys are not gd at preparing presents so i was tempted to ask my mom to help me prepare it since she look so free today and i so busy wif my muggin but i guess i wan to make this gift special especially since this is the first time i am makin a gift for someone so i decided to do it myself. i am hopin to pass the gift to her myself but i dun noe whether i shld so maybe i wil jus pass it to her friens...
if you r eager to see the present, dun worry i wil upload it after i pass her the present and if you happen to be a guy who cant decide on a present for her then jus read my dummies guide to winning your girl's heart. haha

got back mock test last yr a lvl maths paper 2. was quite surprised and happy to see that i got 76 for it which is an A!! dun tink i ve gotten an A bfore for maths..maybe the only time was for my maths retest but this time i got an A! if only the paper was this yr a lvl maths paper then i tink i wil be so happy then i wil kiss anybody that i meet on the street haha. but stil this is a very encouraging sign and it can only help to make me ever more determined to get A for my maths! wonder how the rest did cause i pon sch today. honestly goin sch now is a waste of time...maybe for me only cause the lectures dun really help much and tutorial is equally bad. worse i cant stand the thought of goin for maths tutorial...i dun wan to become like andy quek.

the last few days i only come online after 11 cause i wan to talk to her and now then i realised she come online so late. i stil rmber how we started our first conversation...she wrote i dun noe why but i dun feel like goin sch tmr on her msn nick and i wrote but there gp lect tmr on my nick haha. cant believe i did that but i m real glad i did cause later she ask me whether i m talkin to her nick...so thats how it started..now the challenge is to tink of stuff to talk abt but i tink i shld be able to handle that or maybe not...

it gd cause i can get to see you but its bad cause i stil wan to see you after 5 days!

woah its been a while since i last blogged but i guess i hve been really busy muggin. plan to continue muggin until late into the night but i guess i nid a break. the pressure is really starting to build up especially from parents as they wan me to do well but i dun blame them cause i myself also wan to do well. the sad thing is my prelim results have not been encouraging and they have only made my parents more worried. from U to A in 33 days starting from today...is it possible? well it damn well better be cause i wan to do good enough to be able to choose where i wan to go. been thinking how hard i shld mug? cause if muggin 24/7 can guarantee me As then i m totally willing to do it but i dun noe whether i dare to try...i wil hve to make my decision fast cause theres no much time left. this is goin to be a lonely battle but this is my last chance to change my so-called life. its NOW OR NEVER!